Grit & Grace
(Why the Best Directors Lead with Both)
Board work isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes resilience, clarity, discernment and more often than we admit, the ability to sit in discomfort. To be effective, I think that directors must lead with both Grit & Grace.
These two qualities might seem like opposites. Grit is the fire, its the persistence, courage, the willingness to push through. Grace is the water, its the restraint, empathy, and the ability to respond without escalating. And together, they form the backbone of strong, steady leadership.
Here’s how I’ve seen these approaches used in action, and when you need to use both.
1- Grit: Staying the Course When It Gets Uncomfortable
Grit is the ability to stand your ground, raise the tough issue, ask the inconvenient question, and keep showing up even when the room gets chilly. It’s about long-term commitment versus short-term comfort.
What grit looks like?
Naming a risk no one else wants to touch
Advocating for truth over harmony
Holding a line on ethics, even under pressure
But grit without grace? That turns into inflexibility, ego, or self-righteousness. It burns bridges instead of building trust.
2- Grace: Navigating Power with Humanity
Grace is what keeps boardroom grit from becoming a battering ram. It’s about choosing your words with care, listening fully, and respecting silence as much as speech.
What grace looks like?
Asking a pointed question without blame
Giving people room to save face when course-correcting
Letting someone finish even when you’re itching to jump in
Grace without grit? That’s passivity. It allows poor decisions to slide by unchallenged. It confuses kindness with avoidance.
3- Using Grit & Grace Together
The best directors know when to lean into discomfort. They know when to soften the edge. They don’t speak to win. They speak to serve. They challenge the issue, not the person.
What does Grace & Grit look like?
Pairing a difficult truth with an open invitation: “Here’s what concerns me. Can we explore that together?”
Holding your position firmly, while staying curious: “I’m not yet convinced. Can you help me see it differently?”
Disagreeing without dominance: “I see it another way, and I respect your perspective.”
Final Thought: The Strength of the And
Grit alone makes you tough. Grace alone makes you likeable. But together, they make you trusted.
Boardrooms are complex ecosystems full of egos, power dynamics, competing priorities, and high stakes. You don’t navigate that terrain with blunt force or politeness alone. You need the fierce clarity of grit, and the relational wisdom of grace.
Because in the end, the directors who make the biggest difference are those who can be both firm and fair, bold and kind, clear-eyed and open-minded.