Gendered Language

The boardroom is supposed to be the place where strategy, oversight, and accountability rise above bias. But language—subtle, unconscious, and deeply cultural—often tells a different story.

Too often, directors who identify as women or LGBTQ2S+ are described as emotional while men are passionate. She’s aggressive, he's assertive. They need to build confidence, he shows promise. These patterns aren’t always malicious—but they are persistent. And they shape how voices are heard, valued, and judged.

Here are three ways I’ve seen that gendered language intersects with governance—and how board directors can do better.

1️⃣ Words Shape Perception

Language is a lens. It influences who gets credit, who gets cut off, and whose ideas are remembered. In governance, that lens matters—because perception becomes influence, and influence shapes decisions.

✅ When boards are mindful of language, they create a culture where contributions are judged on merit, not stereotype. Diverse directors feel seen, heard, and respected—and the quality of debate improves.

🔻 When language goes unchecked, bias becomes baked in. Brilliant ideas are dismissed. Dissent is pathologized. And groupthink thrives under the illusion of "consensus."

Caution: Check your adjectives. Are you describing the contribution—or the contributor? Are your words reinforcing inclusion or undermining it?

2️⃣ Tone Policing Undermines Voice

One of the most common—and damaging—gendered dynamics is tone policing. A woman challenges something directly and is labeled “difficult.” A man does the same and is praised for being “strategic.”

✅ In effective boards, tone is part of the message, not a reason to discredit it. Directors learn to focus on substance over delivery and recognize that passion doesn’t equal instability.

🔻 Without this awareness, boards lose diversity of thought—not because it isn’t present, but because it gets worn down, edited out, or self-censored over time.

Caution: If you find yourself critiquing how something was said, pause and ask whether you’ve heard what was said.

3️⃣ Governance is Culture Work

Governance isn’t just policy—it’s people. And culture is how people behave when no one’s watching. Inclusive governance requires more than demographics; it requires directors who actively shape culture through conscious language choices, shared accountability, and respect.

✅ When boards take culture seriously, they evolve. They attract stronger talent. They make better decisions. And they create conditions where everyone can lead authentically.

🔻 When culture is ignored, bias festers. Turnover rises. Trust erodes. And the board becomes a place of performance, not purpose.

Caution: Don’t outsource culture to HR or DEI committees. Directors shape the culture every time they open their mouths—or stay silent.

Final thought:
Governance isn’t just about the rules you follow. It’s about the norms you reinforce. The best boards don’t just manage risk—they challenge the biases that create it.

So the next time you speak in the boardroom, ask yourself: Are my words building clarity, courage, and credibility? Or are they reinforcing a story that’s long overdue for revision?